everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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