Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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