weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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