peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
