Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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