problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
