Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We are all done wearing pants today
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
