The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
