He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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