I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize