no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
this hospital has no fireball
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
