This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
