Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
