apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
