There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize