Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize