You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
