his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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