He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
