I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize