butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
