so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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