I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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