You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
