I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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