At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
