Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
