ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
