just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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