eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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