I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
