No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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