I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
