this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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