YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
