Operation Purity has been aborted
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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