dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just pee around me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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