Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
