My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
