new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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