No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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