And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
