what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
