ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
How's work?
Spinning.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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