my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize