So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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