can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
