if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize