So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
