well you can't waste a boner
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
