I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
