even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it glows. i had to have it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
