Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
