I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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