their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
