I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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