I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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