The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
