You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
