Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize