I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
